It’s Harder


Just wanna share a blog from a friend of minešŸ™‚

Nice thought of a single Ladies

 

Last week I had a chance to meet a dear friend of mine, and I was very inspired to share our conversation herešŸ™‚

I shared about how I felt on this age… it’s harder to find a suitable lifetime partner (husband).
When I was younger, during high school or even university time, feeling attracted to a guy did not take long thought process. It was as simple as observing his behavior, lifestyle, and attitude.

However now, I couldn’t say the same thing. Even before I met the person (a guy that I’m supposed to feel attracted to), at the back of my mind, I have these list of expectations of how that guy should be. His appearance, personality, habit, behavior, job stability, wishes and dreams, maturity level, etc etc etc.

Why? Perhaps I learnt from my past mistakes, or others’ mistakes… perhaps I have my “ideal” life in the future… perhaps I do not want to have any regret… or perhaps I do not have enough faith to allow God take control of this area in my life.

The more mature I am (or as I thought I am), the more expectation I have for my future partner. Since I am able to accomplish certain things in my life, there must be something in this person to attract me, or complete me in things I could not achieve. I am easily bored, so I would need constant stimulation or new challenges. That’s why mundane lifestyle is killing me.

Secondly, since some of my friends are now married, I get to observe their bitter sweet marriage life. Besides making me dreaming about my own wedding (dress, decoration, arrangement, photoshoot, etc etc); I also have some expectations of how I want my marriage life to be, and that includes how I want my future husband to be.

” It doesn’t mean I need someone who is perfect, but perhaps… mature enough to start a family together, selfless enough to put others’ needs before his needs (family comes first), and emotionally strong to handle his personal issues or imperfectness without bringing me down. “

Thirdly, I still believe in attraction. If I am not attracted to the person, I could not start a relationship with him. It just does not make sense to marry someone just because he is a good guy. If my heart is not moved, I won’t be able to love him with all my heart, moreover to start a family together.

A marriage should be for a lifetime, and it is impossible to love someone and be committed throughout my life if I don’t love him enough. Even when people said we can’t stay in love all the time, but I believe you still need to love each other all the time. The attraction may be gone, but the commitment is still there. To love, to serve, to sacrifice.

Fourthly, since I am fine with living alone and being alone.. although I feel lonely and need some affection occasionally, I have this current mindsetĀ “If it happens, it happens. If not, it doesn’t matter.”
But the question is,Ā “What would be pleasing to God?” “What is my vocation?”, and how would I know?

I guess my faith needs to be stronger, because this is one aspect in life that I don’t have control at. I shall pray, and let go.
God loves me, and He will take care of me. He will give me His best plan… no matter how long will that be.

Some people may be lucky enough to have found their other halves, others have the privilege to taste parenthood and motherhood, and for me (and others who are still single)… we are blessed to be able to love ourselves and make use of our precious time in serving God and loving other people non-exclusively.

… because Love is meant to be shared.

 

This blog taken from here:

http://www.vanni-e-bella.com/2013/11/its-harder.html?showComment=1384950600173#c5924709819154991357

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